“We felt we were the only ones”

A local mother who lost her 11-year-old son to cancer is urging people to support a coffee morning for the charity which helped her family cope with the devastating bereavement.

It is hoped that the fundraising events in the capital, organised by Anam Cara and running at three Bear Market Coffee outlets on May 29, will spark conversations about grief and loss – and ensure families are supported.

Louise Kinlen, from Stillorgan, told how her bright, active son Samuel Roquette ended up on life support in December 2019.

He had suffered with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and undergone chemotherapy treatment for three and a half years, but had been thriving since finishing his treatment in 2016.

He loved to run, play football and music and had set up a company making Stop Motion videos with Lego characters with his best friend Sebastian.

But when what initially seemed like a winter bug didn’t clear up, he was taken to Children’s Health Ireland at Crumlin, where his condition rapidly deteriorated.

Despite having had normal blood tests two weeks earlier, his leukaemia had returned and was at an advanced stage.

Within hours, Samuel was unconscious and his parents took the heartbreaking decision to have his life support withdrawn on December 13.

A few months later, the couple reached out to all-island charity Anam Cara, whose mission is that no family should grieve alone following the loss of a child.

“I was stunned at how many bereaved parents there were – we felt sometimes we were the only ones,” said Ms Kinlen.

“There was that sense of connection that we weren’t alone, and we really felt supported and that we had somewhere to turn – especially as newly bereaved parents as it really helped us understand the process of grief and how we can try to integrate the loss of our child into our new normal.”

Ms Kinlen, a social research consultant who is also a volunteer parent with Anam Cara, believes that attending the charity’s meetings generates hope for people.

“Losing a child is one of the worst experiences you can have. We talk about what is helpful for people, whilst recognising the individuality of everyone’s grief.

“Remembering your child and making meaning of their life is always part of it.

“We also try to remember the good times. For us, we are at the stage where we can laugh and remember the funny stories and appreciate the life we had with Samuel – Anam Cara has really helped us with this.”

The three fundraising coffee mornings are being held at Bear Market Coffee in Stillorgan, Blackrock and Sandyford from 10am-12noon on May 29.

Anyone who attends can get a free coffee and donate a sum of their choice to Anam Cara.

The all-island charity’s CEO, Michelle Reynolds, said that one of the most powerful things it can offer bereaved parents is connection — spaces where they feel seen, understood, and safe to speak openly about their child and their grief.

“We’re incredibly grateful to Bear Market for creating opportunities for community, conversation, and awareness through these events,” she said.

For more information and details on how to donate, see www.anamcara.ie