Finglas woman shares her experience as a foster carer

To mark National Fostering Awareness Month, Finglas woman Yvonne Berigan reflects on the transformative power of fostering – not only for the children she supports but for their parents too

It’s not every day you’re in the supermarket and a stranger approaches, wraps their arms around you and thanks you for looking after their child – but that’s what happened to foster carer Yvonne Berigan when one mother said thanks for the support Yvonne gave at a time when the woman was battling leukaemia and couldn’t care for her four-year-old son.

It’s testament to the level of support that Yvonne and her husband, Mark, have given children down the years that she had to ask the woman, ‘which child?’

That may not be surprising when you consider that for 29 years Finglas mum Yvonne has provided foster care to more than 50 children and families in her community.

“We came into fostering through my niece, who was six months old when I started looking after her,” says Yvonne.

“I was a single parent, aged 26, and actually got engaged to my husband Mark when I was being assessed to take another child.

“It was very, very tough in those early years looking after my niece, probably the toughest it has ever been, but we got through it.

“There’s more support around now – there are coffee mornings, courses, a much better network of foster carers that you can bounce ideas off, and not just have to rely on social workers,” she says.

Currently, Yvonne is foster carer to a 27-year-old woman (still with the family after many years and now saving to buy her own home); two sisters, who are aged 14 and 11 years’ old, and is also providing respite care to a four-year old boy, who came to Yvonne non-verbal.

“He had no motor skills, no muscle definition, and couldn’t speak. Now he’s just a normal little boy… such a character!

“He’s brought so much joy to this house. He’s currently in a creche but when he goes to pre-school we’ll do day fostering, where he stays here from 12-5pm three days a week and stays overnight on two other days.”

On top of that, she and Mark have three children of their own, aged 13, 24 and 32 years… and all still living under the one roof.

For most people that would sound very daunting, but not Yvonne and Mark.

“It’s a busy home, but we just love it,” she says.

For Yvonne, fostering is about helping support a parent as much as a child.

“To be able to give parents a chance… so they know their child is being looked after.

“To me, the ultimate goal is that the child goes home, it’s so rewarding when you see that happen and know you’ve made a difference for them, and you’re helping their parents too.

“Life can be so cruel, and we’ve learned how lucky we are.

“People can find themselves in difficult situations and I like to be the person to give that parent a chance. I say to parents, ‘I’m here to look after your child, but also to look after you.’

“Sometimes parents come from an abusive background themselves, which in turn impacts on their own relationships, which then impacts on their own children.

“So, you can be dealing with damaged kids, and you need to put the work in to fix something that’s broken in them.

“Sometimes you can patch things up and not fix everything, but that’s part of fostering too.”

As challenging an undertaking as fostering is, support is available from Tusla for carers.

“We have great support,” says Yvonne of her own situation.

“The girls have great support, and I have support. You build your support network through the Tusla-funded training courses and the coffee mornings, and by linking in with other foster carers… there’s so much going on all the time.”

The couple have looked after all manner of children down the years, from newborn babies to (in the early days of her fostering) a family of seven from Africa, who lived with the Berigans for a month.

“That was the best craic,” Yvonne says, laughing.

“They’d dress up and put on shows for us… it was great fun. We’ve had some right characters here over the years – wild!

“But once you put boundaries in place it’s amazing how quickly children thrive. Kids appreciate boundaries, they show them that someone cares.”

For Yvonne and Mark, fostering has changed their outlook on life but also developed great empathy in her own children, who she says would also like to take become foster carers in the years ahead.

And Yvonne points out that it takes all sorts of people to foster.

“Foster carers come from all walks of life,” says Yvonne. “You don’t have to be in a big house to do it; as long as its stable accommodation, that’s what matters.

“And you don’t have to be a 2.4 family – you can be single, same sex, a different religion… what matters is the stability and support you bring to the child’s life.”

June is National Fostering Awareness Month, and Tusla – the national agency for foster care – is seeking foster carers from all walks of life across Ireland to help ensure young people can stay connected to their communities.

A local placement will ensure a young person can maintain important connections with their friends, sports, school, and community, and reach their full potential.

Tusla’s National Lead for Fostering, Jacqui Smyth, says the Child and Family Agency welcomes applicants and enquiries from all backgrounds to provide foster care, which comes in a variety of forms, from short-term respite care to relative care and long-term.

“It is really important that the pool of available foster carers is as diverse and unique as possible because the needs of every child differ.

“Right now, in every part of Ireland there is a need for foster carers. Children come into care from every socio-economic group, across religions and cultures, across rural and urban communities throughout our country.

“Every child deserves the chance to live in a home within their own community.

“In Tulsa, our focus is to support foster carers and encourage people to consider becoming a carer for a child who is unable to remain at home.

“We do this through a spectrum of support for fostering families. We collaborate closely with stakeholders and colleagues to innovate and advocate for children and families in the foster care system.”

Adds Yvonne: “We’ve been really lucky. The kids who have gone through this house have gone on to good things.

“There’s a message I saw once that read: ‘Fostering a child won’t change the world, but for that child, the world will change’… And that is so, so true.”