3 year prison sentence for man who sexually abused partner’s teenage son

This article contains references to sexual abuse involving a minor, which some readers may find distressing.

Reader discretion is advised.

By Sonya McLean

A man who was abused by his mother’s partner has said that his abuser did not steal his voice and he was speaking out “not only for myself but for others who live in silence”.

The man was reading his victim impact statement during the sentencing of the 62 year-old who sexually abused him when he was 16-years old over 20 years ago.

The accused had pleaded not guilty to a number of offences but was convicted by a jury following a trial at the Central Criminal Court last March. He was convicted on ten counts of gross indecency between 2003 and 2004.

On Monday, Justice Paul Burns imposed a global sentence of 38 months. He suspended the final four months of that term on strict conditions including that the man be under the supervision of The Probation Service for three years upon his release from prison.

The victim read his victim impact statement into the record and began by saying that the abuse “was a secret that was never mine to carry”.

He said he was vulnerable and placed in this situation. He described the man as stealing his childhood.

“I believed it was my fault. I carried shame, guilt and confusion. I learned to stay silent, learned not to trust,” the man continued.

He said the abuse damaged his relationship with his mother and because he could not be truthful with her, he became distant.

“The loss of those moments with my mother – I will never get back,” he said adding “it created a distance, confusion and pain that we are still trying to deal with today”.

He said he believed “silence was the right thing to do”. He described trying to make sense of his feelings and subsequently numbing those feelings with drugs and alcohol.

The man described struggling every day explaining that he was “isolated, alone and disconnected”.

“Isolation was one of the deepest wounds,” he said.

“I was forced to live a double life. I was pretending to honour someone that was causing me so much pain,” the man said referring to his behaviour around his abuser.

He said there were “times I felt I would never survive”.

“Now for the first time I feel seen and heard and believed. These are wounds that may never fully heal,” he continued adding that he reflects on the life he should have had, had it not been for the abuse.

The man concluded his victim impact statement by saying thanking those who have helped him including the detectives, the legal teams in the case and his counsellor.

A local detective told James Dwyer SC, prosecuting, that the teenager’s father left the family home and his mother later started a relationship with the accused. He moved into their family home.

The victim told his mother and the accused that he was gay. He was 16 years old at the time and the accused then began to sexually abuse him.

The court heard that the teenager was “vulnerable to approaches” from the man. The abuse involved mutual touching of each other’s genitals and oral rape. He was also encouraged to penetrate the accused.

The detective said the abuse occurred a number of times per week for about a year until the teenager approached the man and said he didn’t want this (the abuse) to happen again. The man did not sexually assault the teenager again.

The court heard that the teenager was “consumed by the fact that he was keeping something from his mother”.

He said the accused implied that this was “lad’s stuff” and his mother would not understand.

The man has a previous conviction for sexual assault for which he received a 20 month jail term.

Bernard Condon SC defending said his client is a father of four who was a good provider for his family.

He asked the court to accept that there was “a lack of violence and threats” and that his client stopped when the teenager asked him to stop. He said his client had problems with alcohol over the years.

Mr Justice Burns thanked the victim for his victim impact statement adding that it gave “insight into how his behaviour has impacted on your life and your family”.

He sympathised with the victim and said he hopes that with further help he will experience more relief.

Mr Justice Burns noted that the maximum penalty available to the court for gross indecency was two years but he said due to “the prolonged and persistent” nature of the offending consecutive sentences were appropriate.

He imposed a global sentence of 38 months with the final four months suspended.