Dorothy Scarry
AS PARENTS we still remember the mixed feelings of excitement, loneliness, happiness, anticipation and anxiety the months before we ourselves started secondary school.
We, like our children have gone from being the biggest fish in the pond in primary school to the smallest fish in the big sea that is secondary school.
From our own personal experience, we already have a fair idea that school transitioning is a big deal and that it could even propose a challenge to some.
With this in mind, here are some practical ways that you as a parent can use to support your child’s emotional and mental wellbeing through school transitioning in the coming weeks and months.
Connect
Make time to connect with your child each day. Talk and listen to them about their stories of all their new teachers, classmates, friends and foes.
This will be key to keeping your relationship on track and will also give you a heads up to noticing any changes in your child’s wellbeing.
It is also important to take the time to check the school website and school social media channels to keep up to date with school events, meetings, etc.
Sleep
The importance of a good night’s sleep cannot be underestimated. Establish a bedtime routine that is age appropriate and encourage a digital free bedroom after 9pm to give the mind time to rest and prepare for good quality sleep.
This could be adapted throughout the household to help everyone’s wellbeing and to allow a true rest for our mental wellbeing.
Organisation
Support your child in creating the habit of getting organised for school the evening before.
Remind your child to check their timetable for the following day, pack their school bag and lay out their uniform if necessary.
Practical subjects may require additional equipment and materials to be brought into school and pay particular attention to this as can be very hard source a mango or gold paint at 8am on a Tuesday morning on your way out to work! Eliminate the stress before it has the opportunity to take hold for the day.
Lunch
Your child most likely attended a primary school where they experienced a healthy eating policy for the previous eight years. The tuck shops in secondary school are a real novelty and if they don’t offer healthy options all the great health promotion work of the previous eight years will become undone.
Encourage healthy lunches from home and of course the odd treat is no harm. Hot soups and lunches are usually on offer in school canteens and could be an option once or twice a week if the family budget allows.
Hand over some Responsibility
Your child is taking their next step forward into secondary school and they need to learn to manage their time efficiently themselves.
You will hinder this natural step for them by continuing to prepare all for them. They need to build their resilience and part of this is taking responsibility for themselves.
Subjects
As a parent you must remain optimistic about all the new subject choices that your child will now encounter. Your child is still at a very influential stage and your choice of words around your experience of subject choices may influence their opinions.
Instead of saying when they come at you with a question about the Modh CoinniÌollach, “I was never any good at Irish”, say instead “Do you know what I can’t exactly remember. Get me the book and we’ll figure it out together and if we can’t there is always Aunty Una,” etc. Negative language is absorbed as equally as positive so make yours positive.
Completing Homework
Secondary school involves more homework and usually weekend homework particularly in core subject areas. Support your child in deciding when is the most productive time for them to complete their homework.
Some children are not able to settle into homework on arrival home from school.
Would you be able to turn around after nine hours in the office, eat your dinner and start another two hours of work?
Encourage them to eat, hydrate and chat to you on arrival home. This connect is very important for wellbeing.
Encourage some form of exercise or creative activity or a walk in nature. Just sitting outside on a step for five minutes having a chat (positive) does wonders to clear the mind.
Recording Homework
In primary school, it was typical for your child’s teacher to write all the homework up on the board and give time to the class to take it down.
In secondary school your child may have up to seven or eight different teachers in any day and each may want to give homework.
This is usually given orally and needs to be recorded straightaway by your child. Check their diary frequently.
Positivity
The more relaxed and positive you yourself are about school transitioning, the better your child will be in taking their next step forward.
Dorothy Scarry is a qualified primary and secondary teacher with a MSc in Workplace Health and Wellbeing. She is the owner of www.nextstepforward.ie delivering wellbeing and resilience workshops to those in school transitioning.
Dorothy is a member of the Society of Occupational Medicine, Association of Health Promotion Ireland, INTO and Teaching Council. She has taught 5th and 6th classes over the past six years and she has seen the heightened anxiety and worry experienced by pupils and indeed their parents with regard to the move from primary to secondary school.
