TWO Northsiders volunteering with a service that provides professional photographs of stillborn and terminally ill babies are hoping its official launch in Ireland will boost awareness and make it more available to parents.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) is a not-for-profit organisation that provides free, professional remembrance photography to parents facing the devastating loss of a baby through stillbirth or terminal illness.
NILMDTS began in the US when photographer Sandy Puc was asked by Mike and Cheryl Haggard to take portraits of them cradling their son, Maddux Achilles, who was born with a terminal condition called myotubular myopathy.
Sandy and Cheryl founded the organisation in April 2005 and it spread to Ireland when Sandy came to Dublin for a workshop five years later.
“A few photographers became affiliated and began to do sessions here in Ireland,
? explained Lisa Kennedy Byrne from Santry, who’s one of two co-ordinators with the service.
“It’s grown over the years through word of mouth.
?
Earlier this month NILMDTS Ireland held its official launch at the Red Cow Hotel and announced a new central number that Irish parents or hospital maternity bereavement teams can call when the need arises for a session to be carried out.
“Several hospitals and organisations are aware of us so they are able to sensitively raise the subject with parents whose baby has been born sleeping or when the decision has been made to withdraw life support,
? Lisa said.
“The parents then have time to think and make the decision whether to go ahead with a session. At that stage the parents can contact the central number or the hospital can contact us on the parents behalf and a photographer is contacted
?.
NILMDTS has received overwhelming support for its service from many organisations in Ireland. But some hospitals are still hesitant about suggesting it to parents and Lisa believes their reluctance could cause hurt.
“Mothers now are starting to speak out,
? she said.
“They’re talking on forums. Up to a couple of years ago a baby dying was a taboo subject. Parents just wouldn’t talk about it.
“I think what’s also happening now is one parent will tell another they got beautiful images from NILMDTS and the other parent feels cheated because they weren’t made aware of it.
“The last thing a hospital wants is a bereaved parent to feel cheated. Hospitals are coming around to the idea of introducing the idea of remembrance photography to parents as there is evidence to prove that it really does help with the healing process following infant loss.
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Professional photographer Michelle La Grue, from Artane, became a volunteer with NILMDTS after being approached while studying on a course in the UK.
She admits it can be difficult work, but it’s also rewarding and she considers it
“humbling and a privilege
? to be asked to share some of a baby’s final moments with its parents.
Michelle’s first assignment came within minutes of her going live on the NILMDTS website.
“I remember standing in the middle of the kitchen going
‘I don’t know what to do’; I was actually so panicked,
? she recalled.
“But I just grabbed my bag and I went to the hospital as fast as possible. I think I was there for two hours.
“I waited with the family and they had already gone through all the emotions so we just all sat there together, enjoying the baby’s last moments.
“It was a very, very emotional start for me I have to say.
?
Michelle is full of admiration for the parents who choose to use the service.
“They’re amazing. I’m very proud and humbled that they are actually inviting us in to that very short moment, and they’re taking time to allow us to share it with them.
?
Confidentiality is naturally important with NILMDTS and many of the volunteer photographers only share what they do with close family and friends.
“A lot of us don’t let people know what we do because you either totally get it, or you totally don’t; there’s no middle ground on this,
? Michelle explained.
“A lot of people go:
‘Oh, I don’t know how you do that’, so you don’t tell an awful lot of people that this is what you do in your spare time.
?
Passionate about her work and the service, Michelle is hoping that more photographers will sign up to volunteer.
“We’d like to think that if a photographer signed up they’d only have to do one session a month.
“The ideal situation would be that nobody would need this service; that all babies would be born without illnesses. But it does happen so let’s do it the right way and let’s make sure that parents get everything that they need.
“It’s been proven that these images really help families along the way with their bereavement.
?
NILMDTS is a free, not-for-profit organisation. To find out more visit nowilaymedowntosleep.org or to connect with the service in Ireland see facebook.com/nilmdtsireland.
The direct contact number for NILMDTS Ireland is 083-3774777 and the line is staffed from 9am to 9pm.