This article contains references to sexual assault, rape and domestic abuse, which some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised.
By Declan Brennan
A woman who was coercively controlled and repeatedly sexually assaulted by her husband during the lockdown has told a court of the “permanent scars” caused by the ordeal.
The man subjected his wife to a “prolonged campaign of domination” which culminated in him raping her in June 2021, she told the Central Criminal Court.
He cannot be named to protect her identity. The couple met in 2001, have a number of children and are now separated.
The man had pleaded guilty to assault causing harm and three incidences of sexual assault. He had pleaded not guilty to rape, coercive control and multiple charges of sexual assault. He was later convicted by a Central Criminal Court jury on these remaining charges.
The offending took place on various dates between August 2020 and June 2021.
The court heard that the man was employed in the tech industry and in March 2020 he began working from home because of the Covid-19 lockdown.
He went on sick leave from August 2020. There had been “a lot of difficulties” in the marriage already but in August 2020 the man threatened to tell her church pastor and her family about his wife’s vibrator and about “what sort of woman she was”.
She later told gardai this was “the final straw” for her and she decided she wanted a separation. She told the court that there was an environment of control and fear in the home.
On August 8, 2020 he slapped her hard in the face in front of her sons and called her a “stupid mother who couldn’t control her children”.
“I concluded that leaving was necessary for the physical and psychological safety of myself and my children,” she told the court in her victim impact statement.
The couple continued to live together but over the months that followed the man repeatedly sexually assaulted the woman, often while their children were in the same room.
The woman felt it was relentless for her and that it didn’t matter how many times she said ‘no’ to him, the court heard.
The man often told her that she couldn’t fight nature. On June 6, 2021 he sexually assaulted and raped his wife.
Later he asked her why she was walking funny and she told him “you really hurt me” and said she did not consent to the sexual acts. He told her: “you are my wife” and “if you didn’t fight it, it wouldn’t hurt”.
The woman went to gardai that day and reported the rape and the other sexual assaults and assaults.
She told Justice Paul McDermott that the rape was “the apex of a prolonged campaign of domination” which had continuously escalated over the preceding year. She said she was subjected to a series of “profoundly traumatic and intimate violations” which have “altered the architecture of our lives, leaving permanent scars”.
She said she has been diagnosed with PTSD and struggles with hyper vigilance, intrusive memories and pervasive sense of anxiety. She said the actions of her husband “systematically dismantled my identity”.
Mr Justice McDermott imposed consecutive sentences totalling nine-and-half years.
He suspended the final 18 months of the term on strict conditions including that the man engage with The Probation Service upon his release from prison and that he have no direct or indirect communication with his former wife. He was also placed under a post release supervision order for four years.
Mr Justice McDermott said the woman had repeatedly asked the man to stop when he made unwanted advances towards her. He noted that the relationship had broken down and the woman did not consent to any further intimacy “as was her right”, the judge commented.
He also noted that the woman did not share her husband’s view that “if she submitted things would be better”.
“He could not and would not take “no” for an answer. She could not have made it any clearer that she did not consent,” Mr Justice McDermott said noting that the woman also moved to another bedroom.
He said the offending represented: “a severe breach of trust”, that the woman was isolated as it occurred during COVID and that the man “undermined her feeling of safety and security in her own home”.
Mr Justice McDermott said the man had “total disregard for his wife’s consent” and the offences were both “humiliating and degrading”.
“He deprived her of her autonomy and her right to say no,” Mr Justice McDermott said before he added that the man seemed to view intimacy with his wife as “an entitlement”.
He acknowledged that he now accepts the verdict of the jury but said that a letter handed to the court during the sentence hearing – did not seem to reflect that sentiment.
He said as a result it is difficult to view this as “sincere”. “I am not convinced he has any real insight,” Mr Justice McDermott said.
He acknowledged that the man is now willing to engage with the appropriate services. He said he had previously lived “a law-abiding life, had engaged with his children and was a hard worker”.
He said this leads to “an aspect of tragedy in this case” while noting that the offending was limited to a period of 10 months.
Garda Kate Bellew told Fionnuala O’Sullivan SC, prosecuting. the woman reported that the man had made repeated threats to make public intimate images of the woman and hid mobile phones around the house to record her.
The defendant has 10 previous convictions for breaches of barring orders relating to his wife and on dates from February 2021 to February 2022.
Padraig Dwyer SC, defending, said that his client accepts the jury verdicts and is remorseful. He has undergone counselling. He said that the offending took place in the context of the lockdown when many families found themselves “cooped up” together for long periods of time.
“These people built a family together and all was well. There was a change of events, and they both ended up in this situation.